Child Care, Take Three

As many of my (four) readers know, I recently had to take my daughter out of her preschool. After approximately eighteen months of entrusting the owner and her staff with my daughter's care, it became apparent that the owner was more interested in the financial side of the business than the safety side of childcare. Much to my dismay, I had this realization exactly three days before the new semester started. Cue: panic.

For those of you who have never had children, it can seem fairly easy to choose a daycare. On paper, they're all the same. The state decides how many children they can have per caregiver and room size, how often the children must be fed and how much, how often the children must take naps, and what qualifies a person to be a licensed childcare provider. The state regulates all of this, and the insurance companies take care of the rest.

The reality, however, is that choosing a daycare center is (on a much more serious level) like trying a new hair stylist. You know how you want your hair to look, just as you know how you want your child to be treated. You can bring pictures (talk to the teachers), point out hair colors (talk to the owners/directors), look at pictures of other styles the stylist has done (drop-in visits, talk to parents), explain endlessly how you take care of your hair (your child), but the reality is that once you are in the chair, you are at the mercy of the stylist. If you really do your homework, you've still only improved your chances slightly. You watch, you ask questions, you offer reminders about your previously agreed upon arrangement, but you still have a fifty-fifty shot of asking for Demi Moore and leaving with Dickie Moore. Ouch.

With this optimistic attitude in hand, I have spent approximately forty hours in the last four weeks researching schools, asking for referrals, visiting schools, and ultimately leaving schools no closer to having a place to take my daughter. Some schools are easy to cross off (What do you mean you won't tell me the name of the owner?!?!?), yet others slip all too easily into a potpourri of, "Can I really leave her here?"

In order to answer this question, I have tried to put together my smaller questions as I toured the schools, certain that I'm only ever a few "right" answers away from finding a safe and happy preschool. Instead, my well-intentioned questions are all too often turned into conversation fodder for the owner and director to laugh about as they assure me that I don't really need to worry about those little things. Yes, because heaven knows I don't really need to know who is watching my daughter for the hour and a half before her regular teacher gets there. That would be no.

On the whole, the entire process has been almost comical in its lack of productivity where schools are concerned. There was the school she used to attend where all extracurriculars were offered during the 'insignificant' lessons that later turned out to be counting and phonics. Then there was the Montessori school where we actually let her try it out for two days. On the first day, the director escorted me back only to find the children watching a movie on a television that, surprise, the director didn't even know they had. The second day was no better when the teacher could not find my daughter's hat or mittens, couldn't explain why her sleeping bag was on a table in the corner, and wasn't entirely sure whether the kids had been outside that day. Don't call us, but we probably won't call you either.

From there the schools began to pass in rapid succession: the "preschool" with no formalized curriculum, the next Montessori school that wanted $1,800 up front and four weeks notice before leaving the school, the next Montessori school that had an owner on hand who couldn't tell me anything about the curriculum they used and then explained that the children running freely around the school were actually her students that she was supposed to be teaching at that time. From there came the highly reputable school with a two-year waiting period (she'll be in Kindergarten by then!), the smaller school that had an 80% negative feedback record, and, of course, the 'new' school that did not have any extracurriculars established yet because they were "shocked" at how "quickly" they were growing. The school, which is designed to hold up to 320 kids, has been open for six months and has a grand total of twenty kids enrolled. This is the same school that required the children to wear formal uniforms despite having the director and assistant director in ripped jeans and "uniform" t-shirts. However, they were more than happy to take my daughter's name, birthdate, and Social Security number on the spot to begin her enrollment process! I'm afraid that won't be possible.

All of this brings us to today, when I finally find myself satisfied with a nearby school and ready to enroll her. I've got my hairstyle in mind, picture in hand, and colors chosen, and I'm ready to take a seat. I can't expect Demi Moore-hair and I know that, but hopefully, there's a nice middle ground (Mandy Moore? Julianne Moore?) along the way. With forty hours in and only a handful of schools I haven't been to in the greater DFW area, I need this one to work. If not, I may find myself fighting to expand my analogy - what is the "wig" equivalent to preschool anyway?