Thank You for My Blessings

Today someone told me I am a blessing, and it was an amazing moment. The woman who said it has only met me in passing before and doesn't really know me now, but she heard about something I do, and she called me a blessing. In turn, I spend a few minutes of everyday in prayer thanking God for the blessings in my life, but my goal is live every moment in much the same way. Every moment that I stop to think, "Please! Help me find my keys!" or "What an amazing gift my daughter is," I try to have that conscious moment where I realize that I am asking, praising, and thanking Him. In reality, I am not a blessing - though I appreciate the sentiment. I don't have special abilities or talents, but I do have one blessing above all other blessings in my life: I am blessed with the ability to live everyday recognizing God's amazing work in my life and trying to share that blessing with others.

The most obvious blessing is my family. My parents split when I was very young, and I only saw my grandparents' marriage full-time for three years before my grandfather died far too young. When I met my husband, I had no idea what a marriage looked like. I looked at his sister and her husband, and I kept waiting for signs that they favored one of their children over the other, but I couldn't find one. I watched for debilitating disagreements in how to parent their children, but I didn't see those either. I looked at his parents and wondered why they weren't angrier, more resentful, but I couldn't find an answer. In other words, I looked for problems that didn't exist because I didn't know what a harmonious marriage looked like, so I didn't recognize one when I saw it. My husband knew this about me, and he accepted me anyway. He let me learn from him as well as with him, and our marriage is what it is largely because of his infinite patience with me. My husband is an amazing man, but he is an amazing man because God made him to be an incredible person. Long before I believed in a God I couldn't see or a faith I couldn't recognize, I found myself believing in a man who was perfect for me and a perfect marriage that I didn't know existed - because God made them available to me.

My daughter is also an incredible blessing in my life. After knowing without a doubt for so long that I did not want children, my childfree resolve began to crack when I met my husband. I soon fell in love with the idea of being a mother and having a baby. I had spent years treasuring my time, energy, and even money for myself, and all of a sudden I found myself realizing that I could have an endless supply of all of these things to share with another person if only I tried. Like God and my marriage, I began to believe in something I couldn't see in the beginning, but now I can't imagine my life without my baby. I have time for myself because I most want to spend my time with her. I have energy for what matters because she matters more than anything else. I have . . . well, I don't have as much money. But I don't want as much money because I want for her to have what she wants, and we've been blessed with three amazing sets of grandparents who fill in where we fall short - in time, energy, love, and even money.

My dogs are blessings. My dogs keep me safe and secure. My dogs are always happy to see me, and they demonstrate a loyalty to me that is unparalleled in comparison to the other people in their lives. They teach me humility and gratitude, yet each one has his or her own lesson for me as well. Rebel, my oldest dog and undoubtedly my best friend in the world, reminds me everyday how much I would rather have one perfect relationship than a crowd of just content. Rosie, my second oldest dog, has been attacked by other dogs, feared for her food, survived cancer, thyroid problems, arthritis, and more, yet she shows me how physical impairments are entirely limited to physical experiences. Emma, my first dog and resident princess, reminds me that anyone can look like a victim to the world if that is their goal (and it is her goal!). Luke, the dog we rescued for Ellie, has had a hard time overcoming a very difficult beginning. He came into our family foreign to the ideas of trust and love, yet he learned like I did that endless love is available for everyone, even if it isn't available everywhere. Finally, our newest dog, Eli, is a survivor of years of abuse and neglect. He has an incredible personality that allows him to greet everyone with an open, friendly demeanor. He trusts everyone until they give him a reason not to, and this trust is just further evidence of he is sophisticated beyond most people. I often find myself saying I want to be like Eli when I grow up.

A large part of my identity is associated with the car accident I was in when I was seventeen. That, too, is such a contradiction in my life because the most tragic experience came with some amazing blessings. I lost so much in one day, including my invincibility. I lost the innocence that comes with being seventeen, but losing that invincibility also allowed me to grow up a little bit faster and a lot wiser than I would have otherwise. I also gifted the opportunity to appreciate things I'd never lost before and struggled to have returned to me - freedom, stability, the ability to walk, and more.

Most recently I find that I've been blessed with seeing God's path in so many ways. When we get discouraged about adopting, God puts a new reminder in our path of how adoption is a definite part of our future. When we experience pain and loss, God puts new relationships in our lives to fill the gaps. When we feel discouraged by obstacles and our own human nature, God reminds us of what we really want to work for and why. In other words, my faith is my greatest blessing. It is God that brought me to a place where another person would consider me a blessing, and it is my faith in Him and His message to me that has kept me there. I am really only at the beginning of my relationship with Him, but our relationship has really existed for all twenty-eight years of my life and I am blessed with the ability to spend the remaining years worshipping, thanking, and praising Him.